#the fucked up variety at least
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hey sooo
i am indeed encouraging you to elaborate
about roier and elq
Your wish is my command!
Roier is red.
Red like his hoodie, red like a red poppy planted on a garden, red like the sunset at it's peak.
Red like blood.
He is panting from effort even if the fight, if it could even be called that, didn't last more than a few minutes. There is blood on his face, none of it his own, a few drops have fallen into his mouth but he doesn't seem to care about them, licking his lips uncaring of the bitter taste.
His whole focus on the man pinned to the ground.
El Quackity is also out of breath, probably from the impact as Roier pushed him but that doesn't stop him from looking at him with a smile.
His teeth are bloodied.
His forehead is bleeding.
The blood on his face is still somehow less vibrant than the red of his eyes.
Roier forces himself to look away from those eyes, unwilling to let himself try to search for anything familiar in them, to be softened by the memories of someone else. This is a enemy and should be treated as one, someone dangerous and unsettling who is better to keep at arms lenghts, or on the tip of his knife as he is now.
Yet the man underneath him looks anything but helpless.
"Are you going to kill me?"
The short man asks, calm, like this is nothing out of the ordinary. The urge to bash his face is all consuming, to wipe the smile of his face with his face would be so fucking easy, the other is so helpless underneath him, so weak, so pathetic.
So why does a shiver run down his spine?
Why does he feel like he is trapped by the red gaze?
Why does it feel like this is exactly where El Quackity wants them to be?
The dark haired man smiles more, showing bloodied teeth, licking his own lips even if it only smears the red liquid even more. It should be disgusting, it should be grotesque.
He shivers again.
A slow blink is his only reaction, a pale neck is exposed even further, a vein pulsating, inviting. The gesture makes his blade dig deeper into soft flesh, a shallow cut marking the area.
Roier watches the blood dripping from it, licks his own lips again.
His hand shake on the knife.
El Quackity just keeps staring, smiling, waiting.
You hate him.
You want him to beg.
You want him to cry.
You want him to cower.
You want him to fear you.
You know it is not going to happen.
Roier swears that the smile grows even wider when he finally sinks the blade on the soft pale flesh, the eyes widening in delight before the light go out of them.
He doesn't clean the blood of the knife before putting away.
El Quackity is dead, probably waking up in whatever hole he lives in, his body cooling behind him as he gets ups, dusting the dirt of his clothes, only managing to stain them more.
Yet Roier still feels like he is being watched as he makes his way back home.
#there you go anon#my favorite dynamic is el q being a passiva tóxica to both roier and cellbit#do he wants them? do he wants to fuck their relationship?#who the fucks knows#not me#qsmp shipping#spiderduck#sort of#the fucked up variety at least#im so tired this is probably garbage but like i cant get it out of my head#anon ask
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anyways . silly thing
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#animatic#i want it done.get out of here u stupid dog#ITS CHEESY.IM SORRY ! IMSORRY <embarrassed .truly#but i think. a gf revival would not be complete w/o me trying my hand at a shitty animatic. this 1 is for me dwg#as annoying as the whole process was it was kind of fun ngl. . like ive never been good at keeping a consistent style or chara model#and this was rly good practice for that .. i think looking at it now its like. no its crazxy its insane bc i dont ever want to do it again#at least in the immediate future but watching it back im like ok well.icouldve at least done that better. or tried to loosen up my vp and#made it feel less flat . <thats the devil talking & trying to get u back in on it.thats what i mean liike its fun but its evil and tiring#also im so creatively burnt out ik i couldve done so many fun ciphord gore things but i ug a 'shrug' pff 'shrug' i ?. yk#if only i didnt have the disposition to want to finish everything in one sitting. i think thats why i like static illustration#more bc u get more like. topical variety in a shorter amt of time u feel. anyways i remember hearing this song 4 the first time and in#my need to apply everything ever to my hyperfix i was like omg crop circles soo stanford lol. omg a deal he made when he was young.. & no#it doesnt feel so great does it .. (ciphordd)..then the eyes & fate i was alr convinced but when it got 2 the stanley part ab the taking hi#fathers brothers name i was like ok well fuck filbrick 1 . but rewritten for canon events anyways HELLO???????? AND U WILL DIE THE SAMEE?#much cooler version is still stuck in my head but i hope that u can get the same rudimentary vision i have
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I decided to post a tier list of my thoughts of all the routes in various otomes that I’ve played. I was inspired to do this because I just finished Norn9, and while I’ll admit that upon finishing the game I have SEVERAL issues with the story as a whole and a few routes in particular, I did love Akito and Heishi enough to add them to my favorite routes of all time, and I’ll definitely return to the game every now and then just to replay those two, if nothing else. Looking forward to the fandisc, too!
I’d be happy to talk about my feelings in depth for basically any otome or specific route, if you’re curious. My absolute favorites are Code: Realize, Collar x Malice, Taisho x Alice, and Even if Tempest.
#norn9#code realize#collar x malice#even if tempest#cafe enchante#hakuouki#bustafellows#nightshade#cupid parasite#variable barricade#otome#one day i WILL sit down and write an essay for why varibari in particular was ALMOST perfect but then fucked up spectacularly#it's by no means my least favorite otome but i wanted to love it and maybe it could have been one of my favorites#but nope. anyway i should probably finish one of the like 4 games that i kind of just. dropped.#i don't think my tastes are too obvious here. at least my likes have a pretty wide variety.#you can probably tell i'm NOT a fan of yanderes though. and while i rarely hate them i don't really care for the serious Team Dad types
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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"A persons fanfic tells you a lot about them" ask :
I assume you have had complicated family issues, or were close to someone who had some.
I am sorry it took me so long to respond to this. Every time I saw it I just started wheezing with laughter. What a read this is. I told my partner about it and asked "Is it that obvious?" and she said "I mean, with what you write..."
#mail call#its worse than just garden variety family issues actually#i specifically have a very strained relationship with my younger brother#although i would like to give the caveat that the way i write doflamingo is not based on our relationship#its more like 'Well we're fucked up but at least im not that guy'
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You guys talk about wanting enrichment, and listen, one of the easiest ways to do this is to try new genres of art you haven’t experienced before. Try new genres of music and movies! Read books by people who have almost nothing in common with you! Look at art that uses mediums you never considered before! You won’t like all of it, but it’s genuinely so good for you to be exposed to new kinds of art.
#im not gonna get into The Discourse about rap#but it’s kind of fucked up to write off a whole genre of something#there’s so much variety and so many sub genres of literally everything#explore! discover! it’s truly a joy to see how much variety and creativity there is in human expression!#you don’t have to like everything but like#at least acknowledge the value of art
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Are you accepting any commissions? I would gladly pay you to make more beautiful art of Spencer Charnas or some horror character
thank you so so much for your interest! i unfortunately no longer take commissions =( i have a big long-winded explanation as to why, but i'll spare you haha. my patreon is currently the only way to support my art financially.
#i'm sorry to say i don't have any plans to paint spencer again at least in the near future tho#i try to paint someone new with each painting these days and try not to repeat people#i can only manage to complete about 12 paintings a year anymore because my hands are so fucked up#so i want to have as much variety as i can manage with so few works#autumn's replies
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I love the sims 2 because it will completely wreck your shit right when you’re least expecting it
#i’ll set the scene for you: i’m doing the prosperity challenge (basically a challenge where you create a number of completely randomised#families and you play them in rotation. rules vary but generally the goal is to make all your sims as successful as possible#and it’s meant to add some variety and drama to the game)#so i’ve played through the first four families which were all some variation of either grandparents or teenagers looking after kids#just because that’s how my rolls fell. so i got to the last house which was just one adult man and i was like okay.#i JUST need an heir out of him. just ONE. and things were going great! he already had a boyfriend (the random uncle of the first family#i played realllly liked him and i was like ‘this might as well happen’) so i had them try for baby. then his dream job (slacker lol)#came up in the newspaper on the FIRST DAY and he kept getting promoted! i also had him adopt a stray dog i thought was cute#his pregnancy went unbelievably well. he only passed out while eating one time. i allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security#and then mans ✨WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND GAVE BIRTH TO QUADRUPLETS✨#look this is honestly on me for downloading the triplets and quads mod. i don’t even know why i do it. just for the risk factor?#regardless there was only a 3% chance for this and yet it STILL happened. on the first birth in the neighbourhood no less!!!!!#bear in mind this man is living in a 2 bedroom starter home; has one paycheque (GROCERY STORE CLERK) AND he’s just spent a bunch of money#on his new dog. and we can’t exactly sell the dog’s stuff because it’s essentials#i managed to find the money for 4 cribs and a nanny fucking Somehow. and then carnage ensued#i don’t think this man bathed for 3 days. i got the dog a job and then realised it got weekends off so wouldn’t be going#aging them all up into toddlers aged ME. i think they’re technically classified as some being a day older than the others but idc#i’ll rectify it at the next birthday. or at one of their birthdays anyway#it was just SO messy. next rotation should be better though??? i had him marry the kids’ other father (who is an elder so will probably be#around approximately 5 minutes) who bought in exactly £5 but at least there’s an extra person to change diapers and get bottles#i see a lot of nannies in these kids’ future i fear#personal
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Completely incomprehensible right now but we’re moving along!!
#id in alt#I’m so so excited to have figured out how to work around the holes shjsjs I was kinda confused reading the instructions because the way they#were written I couldn’t quite figure out if the patterns had to be made with a specific thread movement in mind or if you could#concievably work most (or any!!) pattern provided you knew how- I was leaning towards the latter just due to the sheer variety of patterns#out there but considering I didn’t make this one with any specific thread movement in mind it worked like that here at least!!! and I am#excited because it’s so so interconnected and one thing about me. LOVE an interconnected system sisjdj that said if you fuck up it takes a#second to fix because of how your thread moves. BUT!! part of the fun for now at least#filet lace#fiber arts#my work#trypophobia
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Thinking about animorphs au again. It's a daily struggle
#qsmp verison this time though! Im getting variety with my ideas at least lmao#baghera would be stuck in a duck morph as an andalite i think. Or maybe a human who learnt about andalites at a very young age and finally#managed to fuck up the time#jaiden's teaching her more about human stuff because i still want them to be friends#forcing myself to stop talking now#blabbing
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#is this oddly specific? who cares#fuck favorites and least favorites#favorites usually end up being one of the numbered ones#lets get some variety yknow#which is your third choice#personally mine is days#kingdom hearts#polls
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well on one hand another popular blog is going to piss me off seeing me on my dash now. on the other hand it's for being transandrophobic so like, at least there's some variety from the tankies?
#it's play-now-my-lord if anyone wants to know#and then there's prismatic-bell who is E V E R Y W H E R E and threatened to doxx someone in like. fucking supervillain tones#but again like. at least it's variety...#in the old days it used to be just that everyone was horrible about ace people but i feel like if they still are#(which. unfortunately likely) ppl tend to be more sneaky abt it#(genuinely so much of transadrophobia discourse is ace discourse rehashed...)#('oh i mean TECHNICALLY you're marginalized but it's not REAL SERIOUS discrimination'#'don't you know you should shut up and not try and get the spotlight bc other people have it ACTUALLY bad?'#'oh you actually do suffer for your--no you don't. i'm going to ignore all evidence that you do'#and ppl being like 'i'm a GOOD asexual(transmasc) bc i know i'm not really oppressed for that identity uwu')#vic talks
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god fine okay i'll cook
#i have. exactly one variety of food that i can cook and it's not a food i WANT#but everyone who has spoken to me this morning has sent me pictures of food and i'm starving#FINE I'LL COOK THE STUPID SHRIMPS#stomping around my house in the least hinged way possible#hurry up and defrost u stupid bugs#should have looked at my bank account and gone shopping this morning but i was scared so i didn't hadfkjadf#... but i am. very out of food.#except for these fucking frozen shrimp that have been in my freezer since uhm. this summer.
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NARINES 4EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if there were two guys that not only hated each other viscerally on a personal level but also everything they individually stood for and they tried to kill each other and there's no universe where they both make it and they have a hundred differences and a thousand similarities and they both die for drako and this started as a joke but why does narines lowkey go hard
narines will be an absolutely banger #Problematique rarepair when you're famous
#hashtag Problematique because people who don't ship it will be unable to shut up about it being SOOO TOXICCC#just because rin attempted a bit of genocide 🙄🙄🙄#god forbid women do anything these days#people would be like “rin is literally SO toxic and the power dynamic is unhealthy and and and andand-”#like babe I promise you they would BOTH be absolutely horrible. nate would give as good as he gets. peace and love❤️#anyway no yeah I honestly love considering the wide variety in shipping culture the tbos fandom would have this would be so funny#like when I sent you that ask about “do you think drakonate+akila would be a popular ot3”#and you were just like “that would suck so fucking bad and nate would kill her”#which like. YES.#I only meant that I'm familiar with ot3 culture and the top one is always main mlm couple+ the woman at least one of them would date lmao#ANYWAY. idk where I'm going with this. yes conceptually narines kinda fucks lmao#I'd read fanfic for it I know this. I am willing to try out a lot of things when reading fanfic#and I'd see one person post about it and I'd be like???? and get curious#and then I'd stumble across a 30k one-shot that's brilliantly written and perfectly handles The Themes and The Tragedy#and it would probably be my guilty pleasure forever and ever. whoops#ask#tbos-main#hi hella!🔪
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wait PINK? do u have pictures I'm curious I've never seen anything other than brown
wait what do other countries not have crush ??????? epic pop brand they also make the best orange pop and their root beers pre good too
#literally every school/sport/family party growing up you’d have a big variety of crush pop: cream soda (🐐) orange grape and rb#apparently they have a clear cream soda but I’ve never seen it#the only clear pop besides like sprite was clear pepsi sold in a gas station in bum fuck nowhere#<- that I’ve ever seen at least
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so the overall.. shape and tone of my current project is pretty much set in stone (im SO CLOSE to 50% done you guys) but i was looking through my saved videos folder on bilibili and if im gonna be doing another animatic after this one (honestly pretty likely??? given my. floruitshow obsession that doesnt seem to be going anywhere anytime soon) i REALLY want to attempt something closer to that style of animatic you see a lot on bb that employs more on elaborate editing as opposed to like............... the powerpoint presentation type beat i've got going on now
(nevermind the fact that a lot of the projects that really lodge themselves in my brain were also like collaborations between teams of people with like dedicated editor roles and i still havent fully figured out how to use lightworks. like ive also seen one man projects in this style that turn out absolutely gorgeous so i KNOW it can be done. maybe i'll go figure out if capcut is easier to use lol)
#asto speaks#re: the ProjectTM#the massive team efforts are mostly genshin animatics whaddaya know#perks of fandom big?? i guess???#that and the other noir's stultifer cantus amv i feel like i bring it up a lot but it truly genuinely haunts me#i just. love love love their art style so much and its *so* beautiful and well edited#i mean obviously im not pulling that off in the foreseeable future but#映剪/capcut is a software i saw recommended by the creator of an animatic for a rather obscure variety show i was OBSESSED with last year#saw that animatic a few days ago and it immediate lodged itself in my brain its SO GOOD. and it was a one man project!! walaoeh#op made a joke about worrying about paying for adobe after effects and realising capcut has everything they need LOL#and their project SUPER well edited and put together so idk i might check it out#im just. not fully sold on the powerpoint presentation style at least not when i do it lol#anyway if i do try something like that it'll probably be for set me free because if i *am* gonna do the robit floruitshow trinity#lets just say im gonna be procrastinating how can i make you stay for last that song is *fucking long*#its like what. 5 minutes? nabei#also i already have a few shots for set me free in mind i just need to stop... thinking about the xiao animatic for the same song lol#that project has like 8 credited artists and 6 animators comparing myself to that is just like#an exercise in pointlessly creating misery in myself
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